Tina Beradze «First of all you need to learn to love yourself»

12 June 2015, 13:08

In-above all, you should love yourself. Not loving yourself is deeply selfish and immoral. If you have not loved yourself before – do so, please. If you do not love yourself, everything else is meaningless.

A famous psychologist, an author of popular articles, scientific publications, lectures, expert of TV talk shows Tina Beradze said that during a meeting on the theme "The Power of Love: to find, to feel, to save" organized by Arseniy Yatseniuk Open Ukraine Foundation.

In a crowded room, which gathered more than 200 people, Dr. Tina talked about the practices and techniques which help build strong relationships, attitude to yourself and loved ones. Guests of the event literally showered Dr. Beradze with questions relating to their personal life and understanding of how to find love or how to keep the relationship in marriage.

The expert said that a person should in the first place find inner harmony and then build healthy and strong relationships.

"If a woman refers irresponsible to herself, her life, her appearance and so on, she will not be able to take care of someone else. We can love others only when we are able to love ourselves. Kids do not need a mother or mother-cook-maid. Children need a happy mother. A happy man needs a woman, not a woman who prepares meals or cleans the apartment from a sense of duty. You cannot force yourself, "- said Dr. Tina.

She noted that liberation from duty and loving yourself -  are not the same things.

"Therefore we must stop and ask ourselves: what direction of my efficiency is bigger? So we sat down and decided:  building a career, raising children cooking and tiding is not me. Thank God, now have the opportunity to entrust the job to another person and do what we like, what makes us happy. Our women have this quality – to take responsibility for the universal problem. And then no time is left for us. When a woman comes to me and says, "Can you imagine I came home tired, stood up to the plate - and he spent all day on the couch with a beer!" I reply: "Sorry, but it's your problem, you allow to treat yourself in such a way! You do not have a bit of self-respect, and I am not talking about love at all! "I want women to realize how much they are into rules and attitudes. We must get rid of the taboo imposed by society on the "a girl cannot be that, a girl is not recommended, a girl must be good, obedient, study successfully and be responsible for everything that happens to her." But one should understand that we should appreciate our desires and our own unique opportunity to live. I want to remind that life flies by very quickly. And we have no drafts. We cannot take and rewrite all over again "- said Tina Beradze.

Speaking to the audience, Dr. Tina also focused on what kind of love is and how to act in different types of relationships.

"Crush and love - these are different concepts. And it is important that you, my dear, see the difference. Crush Condition is a painful condition. Honestly, I would have banned marriage in this state, because you do not see, do not understand if you are friends with that person or not, if you have common interests or not. Then it all goes, and you find yourself face to face with a complete stranger and a very, very bad period begins because many marriages breaks down in the third year. And love is a friendship first of all. For me friendship - this is more than love. If you are not friends with your partner, there will be no love. So there is the concept of "forever" -it is here and now. Let us live this moment "- said Tina Beradze.

Dr. Tina is also sure that any kind of relations, in any case cannot change a loved one. In the future it could lead to the collapse of relations.

"There is such a thing - to come to a mutual consensus,  that is to agree on common interests and go on. Yes, people cannot change, you can change and adjust the behavior. "

Head of the Supervisory Board of Open Ukraine Foundation Tereziya Yatsenyuk thanked Dr. Tina for necessary life tips and suggested to hold such meetings more often.


Tina Beradze (Dr. Tina) - physician, psychiatrist, psychotherapist, medical psychologist, consultant on mental health, behavioral psychology and management. Founder and Chairman of the Board of the International Charitable Organization "Mental Health Initiative." Member of the Alumni Association of Harvard University Medical School (USA) and the World Federation of Psychiatry.

Dr. Tina has its own unique methodology that incorporates the latest achievements in medicine and related sciences, experience, understanding of modern realities of life and their impact on the human psyche. Tina Beradze uses the most effective methods of psychotherapy, psychoanalysis, coaching, psychological counseling, personal management, mentoring, communication and management principles, proven in many years of practice.